On Communication, Influence, and the Language We Don’t Hear Ourselves Speaking

Last week, a viral video reminded me how often we forget who we’re talking to.

It featured Ari Smith, a linguist and YouTuber better known as Xiaoma, speaking to a group of high schoolers. But he didn’t give a typical lecture. He delivered the entire motivational speech in Gen Z/Gen Alpha slang.

“Fam, no cap, if you ghost your dreams, you’ll catch mad Ls.”

Translation: “Friends, seriously, if you ignore your goals, you’ll rack up a lot of failures.”

The students were in stitches—laughing, filming, fully engaged. Because here was an adult using their language, and not in a cringey way. It worked. They listened.

And it got me thinking.

We all speak in code. Whether you’re in defense, federal services, or tech, chances are your default communication style is riddled with shorthand:

• “We’re still waiting on MTA approval before OSD releases the POM insert.”
• “We’ve got a solid OTA strategy; we just need alignment from SAF/AQ.”
• “The pass back from OMB leaves us with a bogie.”
• “That SBIR Phase III won’t scale unless it’s baked into the FYDP.”

Perfectly logical—to us. But to someone outside the beltway bubble? It might as well be ancient Greek.

Years ago, a speech coach told me, “Imagine your audience is a room full of fourth graders.” Not to condescend—but to connect. Be animated. Be clear. Speak to be heard, not just understood.

Ari Smith nailed that. He temporarily gave up his own verbal toolkit to make his message land where it mattered. That’s what influence looks like—not word choice, but listener choice.

So here’s your challenge for the week:

Translate yourself.
If you’re explaining a funding strategy, ditch the PE numbers.
If you’re pitching to a new agency, leave the FAR references for the follow-up.
If you’re guiding a non-DoD partner, maybe don’t lead with “color of money”.

You don’t have to go viral.
But if you want to be remembered—
try sounding a little less like you.

Want To Elevate Your Leverage In Business and Leadership?  

In Million Dollar Influence, I talk about how small language shifts can dramatically increase your impact. Not sure your message is hitting the mark? Let’s do a quick Calendly check-in—I can help you fine-tune it. Contact Gene.